I just attended my Uncle Fester’s funeral. It was very upbeat and it took two and a half hours. After communion, there was an open microphone and anybody who wanted to comment on Uncle Fester’s life was welcome to do so. We ended the whole thing by singing Uncle Fester’s favorite song from the musical "Phantom of the Opera." It was wonderful. 

We felt so much better knowing Uncle Fester was in heaven, as the priest had assured us. We all had a rollicking good time. At one point it reminded me of those old "Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts" that you see advertised on TV. 

Also, the meal after the funeral was really good.  

Isn't it wonderful how the church has changed?

Yours truly, 

Morticia

It does sound like a really good time and I bet the only one who didn't enjoy it was your Uncle Fester. There is a saying that funerals are for the living, not for the dead. Nothing could be further from the truth if you are a believing Catholic. The centerpiece of the Catholic funeral is the Requiem Mass which is offered for the repose of the soul of the person who has died. It is not a memorial service and it is not, in my humble opinion, the place for eulogies.

The sermon at a funeral Mass explains the Gospel and its message of hope and eternal life. Music at the funeral Mass should reinforce the good news of the Gospel in a way that the deceased's favorite popular song never can. There are certainly liturgical songs that have special meaning and can be requested, but a Requiem Mass isn't a Broadway production. Well...., it shouldn't be.

The appropriate place for eulogies and special songs is a memorial service, held at the funeral parlor, or perhaps at the funeral banquet (a custom of which I heartily approve). The wake or banquet are the right times to remember and celebrate the life of the deceased. The funeral Mass is a time to pray for God's mercy for those who have gone on before us.

This may seem harsh, but I have seen people leave funeral Masses devastated because of something said in a eulogy or a memory brought up by a song. Nothing is more consoling than the preaching of the Gospel and the promise of eternal life, which we receive at Mass. It is sad that what should be happening at the wake is happening at the funeral. In effect, there is no Catholic funeral, only a secular memorial service accompanied by a Mass.

I believe that when the memorial service and the Mass are confused, the strength and comfort that can only come from the Mass are denied both to the living and, more importantly, to the dead who need our prayers. I feel so sorry for your Uncle Fester. He is counting on your prayers.

We Catholics still believe in Purgatory. "What," you may say, "Purgatory is not in the Bible!" I think it is. Look at what the Catechism of the Catholic Church says about Purgatory (paragraphs 1030-1032):

“All who die in God's grace and friendship, but still imperfectly purified, are indeed assured of their eternal salvation; but after they undergo purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to achieve heaven.” 

I really believe that this is what is meant, in part, by the Biblical idea of judgment. Judgment isn't necessarily about condemnation. God's judgment of the righteous is actually a good thing. 

God's judgment puts right what needs perfecting. This sure sounds like Purgatory. Purgatory and the judgment of the righteous are beautiful things. They mean that even after we leave this world, we continue to grow in love for God and one another.

Right now, Uncle Fester is not interested in anecdotes about the time he blew up the garage or in hearing his favorite Broadway tunes. If he died in the state of grace, he hears the echo of a far more wonderful music. He wants your prayers to help him on his journey. I feel so sorry for him. By canonizing him at the funeral, did the preacher fail to urge you to pray for him?

We all want to do the best we can for those we love, both living and dead. We Catholics believe that what Christ did on the Cross is the best, and we renew the cross at every Mass. The Sacrifice of the Mass is much more important to our beloved dead than eulogies and Broadway tunes, and it is infinitely more consoling to both living and dead than anything the world has to offer.

Rev. Know-It-All